offtopic

Haven't got enough sleep --must be my cousin's surprise visit as he is leaving the country soon for work. Instead of feeling touched and sentimental about it because he took a bit of his time to see me before he takes off, I felt something distinctive but I couldn't find the exact emotion to describe it.

I have maintained my hermit persona until now. While talking to him, I felt like I was brought back to the ugly picture of our family tree and how I have tried to prevent myself from even peeking at it.

I must substitute this feeling soon.
I prefer to be distant, more distant.

This is how I escape and I prefer to keep it this way.